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hello brothers and sisters. im telling ya God let me take the chance and i have pursued my holiday with peace so far. and i have taken the chance, just that i havent started working on it.

well, i guess my life back home is getting interesting each day. good for me. my family is the best. im here right now, typing, thinking, breathing fresh air and smiling cos of them (a bit cheesy but its a fact!). ok just bear with me a sec, im getting to my point. family is everything to me, like i need anybody else nomore. they're givin me everything i need, and craving for somebody else seems to have no point logically. friends are friends, well some friends are just better to me than others in some ways. close friends are always good and i appreciate them so much. i love the laughs that we always have and the fact that we'll share the same future. makes me scare it no more.

the hard thing about friends is there's always someone in particular who is being envied more by me. the feeling is as complicated as it sounds in my previous sentence. okay this is as far as i'd go for this particular person.

hmm what other stuff.. im learning german, still in the method of love it to learn it tho. oh yeah ive got my visa, and im going back more or less in two weeks time.. yea yea the tears, its certainly gonna be on my cheeks. just something that i always have to go thru. but im alright w that.

okay today's gonna be a long day, hope everythings fine. cao~

dP

oh shoot

hey. ive been homesick but now im 'healed' (if thats even the word). im back to indo. yay. so what now, lets see.

our results will be coming out on the 14th of dec. this is damn damn scary. like my fate. like our fate. one year has passed and dont tell me that it's so fast, i heard it too much. what i can do now is only hope that my hardwork pays off yknow, yea we can't do anything else anymore. we have done so much - weve slacked, weve cramped and weve studied hard. quite hard, i guess. and it better pays off srsly. im rly worried right now, like i cant even explain, but i think everyone knows the feeling. it sucks.

well lemme describe how it sucks. it really makes you to wait for the day to finally see whether youre good enough, despite either ways you know you deserve what you get. but theres also part of you that makes you dont want that day to come by that fast, cos if the result isnt as what you expected your holiday will suck, lemme tell you. suck alot. like even holiday doesnt even feel like one. you'll think that "okay lemme get myself a knife or a rope" ha-ha well ok, not that bad if you have your family around to cheer you up.

i htae tihs felenig!! arhggg im turning mad.... madness is what i am right now.

in conclusion, i want that day to come fast! whether im in or out of melb uni, just gimme the result and let me pursue my holiday in warmth and peace. thank you.

dP

it's amazing how u don't care...

okayy whatev, tmoro's a new day

let's expect new things, new stuff

im so tired todayy~

..random

dP

never the same again i guess

but everytime we say goodbye

i planned to stare longer

but i always turn around and avoid your eyes...

okayy this is nothing, i got bored and i started typing...

you know,

everyday just wondering, don't you see I'm tired

is it just me or you've acted differently

I think we talked too much; we need a break?

do we? should we?

you didn't reply

so I thought

have you been sleeping?

cos I've been looking

all over, waiting, all over, sighing

but just couldn't find -

don't know what I was searching for

tell me, tell me

do I just need to turn my back

pretending it isn't a fact?

about calling you, I think twice

about texting you, I think too much

about every little thing you do, they make me smile

when we say goodbye, I'm always waiting for that face

even a word doesn't need to be said

again, i don't wanna make another mistake

slap me and keep me awake

don't let me have that beautiful dream

cos I don't wanna hurt anyone, not my friend

but so I thought

have you been sleeping?

cos I've been looking

all over, waiting, all over, sighing

but just couldn't find -

don't know what I was searching for

tell me, tell me

do I just need to turn my back

pretending it isn't a fact?

y'know what,

whatever.

dP

"She"

I wrote this four months ago.

Just a little something to share.

She gave me this small fury Snoopy

five months ago, when my flight was waiting

'Take it' she said, telling me not to weep when she was

She wiped my tears while she didn't hers

It's so impossible to forget how she smiled

and said 'nice shirt', and who knew

it was the last shirt she saw me wearing

But does it even matter, this goodbye?

When I still love my Grandma wherever she is

When  I can still hear her voice, telling me what and what not to do

Her laugh; her pain? I can see it all

I'd never know whether or not a goodbye matter

At least I know I'll weep and feel the lost again

Maybe tears are just not enough for a special one like her

dP

It's Been So Long...

Hey ho.. it's been so long since I posted my last blog omg.... I felt that time I wasn't even realize what kind of life I'd be looking forward to. Really, time flies. Everything has happened. From happy up to horrible truth in life. Hmmm.. Srsly it has been so long!

ANYWAYS.. I've got to admit, my life is going pretty good esp me in my holiday mood. we really deserve this holiday you know, we've worked hard for the exam! sigh. the horrible truth in life that I was saying up there, was actually when I needed to go back to Jakarta for a reason... and then come back here for school. can't tell more about it. for my holiday, it's going well despite the fact that I'm going to be braced up tmoro! this is when I pray to 'Lord, have mercy upon me' and do nothing much.

I wonder if I'm going to write this holiday.. or I'll wait to be inspired once more, maybe that'll do. notice why I put 'once more'? lol.

need to go to bed soon, morning app tom!

nights

dP