"She"

I wrote this four months ago.

Just a little something to share.

She gave me this small fury Snoopy

five months ago, when my flight was waiting

'Take it' she said, telling me not to weep when she was

She wiped my tears while she didn't hers

It's so impossible to forget how she smiled

and said 'nice shirt', and who knew

it was the last shirt she saw me wearing

But does it even matter, this goodbye?

When I still love my Grandma wherever she is

When  I can still hear her voice, telling me what and what not to do

Her laugh; her pain? I can see it all

I'd never know whether or not a goodbye matter

At least I know I'll weep and feel the lost again

Maybe tears are just not enough for a special one like her

dP

It's Been So Long...

Hey ho.. it's been so long since I posted my last blog omg.... I felt that time I wasn't even realize what kind of life I'd be looking forward to. Really, time flies. Everything has happened. From happy up to horrible truth in life. Hmmm.. Srsly it has been so long!

ANYWAYS.. I've got to admit, my life is going pretty good esp me in my holiday mood. we really deserve this holiday you know, we've worked hard for the exam! sigh. the horrible truth in life that I was saying up there, was actually when I needed to go back to Jakarta for a reason... and then come back here for school. can't tell more about it. for my holiday, it's going well despite the fact that I'm going to be braced up tmoro! this is when I pray to 'Lord, have mercy upon me' and do nothing much.

I wonder if I'm going to write this holiday.. or I'll wait to be inspired once more, maybe that'll do. notice why I put 'once more'? lol.

need to go to bed soon, morning app tom!

nights

dP

SELFISH me

Hey everyone.. I'll be home all afternoon I think, since I'm not supposed to attend today's orientation program.

I'm not sure if this is true or not, that someone I know is changing. Maybe it's just the beginning that makes the person so excited and that person is no longer that person. I seriously don't know what I'm talking about as well, IDK if it's true. That person isn't starting to get far from me, but just nearer to somebody else whom that person barely know. What I see is that, that person is starting to care about that somebody else, and guess what, I'm worried. Worried that that person will no longer be that person anymore, like there won't be anymore 'us' but 'us with them'. But when I came to think about it again, I trusted that person. Which means, I shouldn't be thinking or feeling the way I do right now. Like I said, maybe it's just the beginning. Beginnings are always interesting. New things, new school, new friends. And perhaps that person is just excited on how that person's life changes. It's a good change in life, I must admit. But I too can't deny myself on feeling the way I do, cause that would make me tell a lie. I'm just afraid of losing the 'us' thing.. Maybe I'm the one who is selfish, who doesn't want that person to mix with that person's new environment, that 'our thing' should be the way it is. And maybe, I should be the one changing, the one who is more understanding. I'll try.

Okay, gotta go soon. 

Cya.

dP

14th Feb's eve..

Hello everybody!! It's valentine's eve now.... I actually have no idea if I'm happy or sad, I just felt this sudden excitement in my body that made me jump up and down. I REALLY don't know what's happening, I'm just very... excited. Ok, tomorrow I'll be meeting up with SOME friends at crown (ROMANTIC, isn't it, celebrating with a group of friends? -.-), then we're planning to watch a movie which is He's Just Not That Into You, which I guess is hilarious. And they're having a buffet in some restaurant, but I'm not sure if E and I are gonna join.. I hope we will, just the more the merrier right? And yep, that's the plan.. Let's see what's gonna happen!

You know, it's quite weird that for the past four days I've been mourning with my friend about valentine.. About how depressed we will be, seeing couples everywhere holding bouquets.... But now I suddenly feel so excited! By thinking about tomorrow I think the excitement just jolted out from me.. Awkward.... I hope it's a good thing, you never know..

Today my wish didn't come true, sob. I didn't meet the zilly again... Anyways! Must iron tomorrow's clothes! Haiz. 

Ok, cya! =]

dP

quite a MEMORABLE DAY perhaps?

Yea hello everybody... I'm just blogging to tell you about how quite a day is today.

In the morning up until the afternoon, I actually didn't do anything special. Then I met up with my friend at church, and after the mass we found ourselves denying the fact that we have a home aka we didn't wanna go home so soon, so we went to chinatown buying something then we had a dinner. I had my favorite unagi dinner~ Then we met with my other friend and we went to yarra river and crown, just wandering around basically. But it was fun and lovely to see the night city.. We went inside crown, just to warm up actually. Today is quite a freezing day. Yesterday was horribly 'oven'-ly hot, and we actually went to ScienceWorks which is out of city and we actually had to take the train to get there, and up till now, I'm still surprised that we all made it home. Anyways, after crown I brought my friends to my home, just to look around, knowing my habitats. We took photos, watched TV, chatting, laughing, those kind of stuff. Today is actually my first day that my friends ever came over to my house, so it's actually a bit of a memorable day perhaps? Yep, so that's all I think..

Okay, sleeping soon. Gotta do something tom!

Cya.

dP

who's the BROKEN-HEARTED boy?

"I was walking safely to my home

 When suddenly the streetlights suddenly popped out and they died

 I was surprised by the blindness I faced

 I barely felt a thing, not even wind blowing onto my face

 Gasping and blinking, trying to find my path back

 But I didn't find a thing, not even something to hold on

 I couldn't feel the gravity pulling me down

 Instead I felt high and couldn't feel the ground

 I realized I've just lost my path

 Path that leads me to you

 Cause you asked me to meet on 'the' bridge

 And told me what you just did

 You apologized; but not for what you just did

 But for what you just felt

 That this feeling faded away

 And I guess I have nothing more to say

 But throwing the rose bouquet into the river

 I guess I'd just walk in this solid darkness, kept on walking

 With my head down and my heart behind

 I could no longer feel my heart beating

 Cause I decided to leave it to you

 And it was up to you to keep or tear it

 I hoped you'd kept it, but it's not what you just did

 So I've lost my heart; there's nothing more to lose now

 All I need is your hand and I could imagine feeling the glory again

 But half of my consciousness laughed at myself

 And the other part just cried and cried, stabbing me from inside

 There's nothing else to lose, really

 Just take it from me, whatever it is

 But just wait a sec... I believe I'd still find my way back to you

 And I'd never care if you don't want me to

 Cause I know I don't need a heart if I could see the smile on your face

 And let me see once more that sunrise in your eyes

 Just before I closed mine

 Then I'd fly high above the clouds

 Smiling..."

This is actually about boy, who just lost his girlfriend after such long years. He was so desperate that he was stuck in this darkness and cannot move on. But after a second thought, he knew that all along, what he has always wanted was her happiness. And he didn't care whoever that other boy is, as long as he could still see that sunrise in her eyes..

dP

to my GIRL..

Hello there.. The clock is 23.47 now and my eyes hardly open.. Yep today was okay. I was late coming to physics class by 15mins urghh; I hate being late, just didn't feel right... I was just home during the really long break, and did not manage to come back on time. But I'm so fortunate that my tutor was willing to repeat. Lucky me.

To my girl -- Tong sorry I did not reply your message.. Ya I think I have said it a lot of times; just do what you got to do. Some things happen for a reason and you'd never know if it happened for good, right.. Okay, calm yourself. Believe in yourself because I do, and you should start trying. I know you can make it. I just know. Wonderwoman =]

Okay need to go to bed in like...... NOW!
Good night all, cya.

dP